


Out of Control • Mayans MC

by Angmar



Category: Mayans M.C. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family, Forgiveness, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-08-10 00:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 16,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16459676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angmar/pseuds/Angmar
Summary: Right after her mother's passing, Juanita discovers a horrible family secret. With one brother in prison and the other wrapped up in the brutal MC-world she doesn't know who to trust. After a violent confrontation with her father she leaves the house and disappears into the night. Angel assumes the worst when his little sister disappears, while their father clothes himself in silence.In the five years that follow Juanita builds up a new life among Los Olvidados, but old wounds open up when her brother shows up in their camp, in the company of a man who turns out to be just as much out of control as she is.





	1. Prologue

_(This story is edited by TammLynn from Fanfiction.Net)_

Angel paced around the room, it was after 3 AM and his sister was still not home; she had never stayed away for so long. Worry started to eat at him. He tried to ignore it, tried to convince himself he was overreacting because of all the other shit that had been happening over the few past months. Juanita knew her limits, better than him or his brother. She never slept around, never fought, never made a scene.

And she never stayed away for no reason.

"She'll be back," his father had told him before he went to bed. His hands had been trembling, his eyes glazing over. He hadn't been sober at all.

Angel wrung his hands until his fingers started to hurt. He went out, sat down on the porch litting a cigarette. The sky was dark, the stars sharing their cold glance. He couldn't stop the feeling of guilt that slowly spread through his veins. Was this his fault? He knew that he hadn't paid much attention to his little sister lately, but she was never stepping out of line and seemed to have it all together. She had seemed fine the last time they had spoken. He breathed in the cold night air. She had gone out to get some fresh air, that was what his father had claimed at least. Angel couldn't think of a reason as to why he would lie about something like that. But still... something in his behaviour, in the dismissal of her being gone, gave him the thought that it hadn't been the full truth. Or was he just imagining things now? He had distanced himself from his family, afraid his ties with the Mayans wouldn't be in their favour and that they would get hurt. And now because of that he had a hard time to reading his father, maybe his sister too...

He bowed his head and whispered a little prayer to his mother, begging her to keep Juanita safe and to bring her home, away from any harm that might come to her.

But he was whispering into the void, there was no power that would bring her home. Not the next day, nor the month after, not even after the year passed.


	2. Chapter 2

Her knees touched the hot desert sand. Ignoring the warmth that soaked right through her linen trousers, Juanita leaned over the spring in front of her and started to fill the bottles. Beside her Camila did the same. Now and then their elbows touched, Juanita tried to ignore it but for the past few weeks she had come to believe that Camila's shy smiles and intense stares meant something more than friendship. Juanita had considered her a friend for years, but the recent change in her behaviour was making her feel very uncomfortable. There weren't many people Juanita counted as friends, and the thought of losing a single one would definitely hurt. But this change... it was nerve-racking and made her doubt herself; had she missed some sort of signal, or given her friend the inclination that she felt the same? She didn't want to reject her, didn't want to ruin their friendship but that was all that she wanted; friendship. She wasn't good with people – not anymore. Not after discovering the secret that her father had kept from his family, it had shown her that there was no one she could trust; especially not the ones that were supposed to be closest to you.

Juanita squeezed her lips together and focused on the ripples she created in the water. She counted the circles as they slowly faded… Seven, eight, nine. There was no point in it, but it was easier. Easier than thinking about her family; it filled her with anger, with shame, with doubt. That life was done, it had been dead for eight years now.

Eight years...

The thought made her organs feel like liquid.

It had been eight years since her father had hit her, since she had finally found the courage to leave the house. Often she thought about her brothers, more than once she had been on the verge of reaching out to them, but something had always pulled her back. She couldn't explain to them why she had left, not without exposing her father's secrets. There was nothing she hated more than keeping secrets, but both Ezekiel and especially Angel would be safer if the truth would stay buried.

At least, that was what she kept telling herself. It was the only way to live with the choices she had made, to justify the hurt she knew she had inflicted her brothers.

Juanita put the cap back on the bottle and began filling the next, internally cursing herself for allowing her thoughts to wander down that path. There was no point in it. She wasn't going back. She had made her choice, and now she had to bear its consequences. She had done it these past years, and so she would in the years that followed.

She had found a goal in life with Los Olvidados, it was a good cause to fight for. Nobody asked questions, even Adelita had made peace with the fact she didn't want to share the details of her past. Most of them had experienced horrible things in their lives and found it hard to talk about it. It was no different for Juanita; it was only on a different level. But nobody needed to know that.

"You're ready?"

Juanita tensed when she felt Camila's hand rest on her shoulder.

 _It's nothing,_ she told herself. It felt like it was ages ago that people had touched her in a loving way, it was a way to break down her walls and Juanita didn't plan to lower the walls around her anytime soon. She needed her space, needed the certainty that nobody could  _really_ hurt her, and the assurance that she couldn’thurt someone else… _again_.

"Got two more bottles," she muttered. "You can go back."

She could easily picture Camila's sweet smile without looking over her shoulder as she answered, "I'm good. There's no rush."

Juanita bit her cheek, wishing she would just go; her presence was suffocating her. It felt like the girl was her shadow, she couldn't remember the last time she had been alone. Had it always been this way? Maybe she had just been blind to it; too wrapped up in her own thoughts to see what was happening around her. It  had happened so many times in her previous life ‒ a trait that was dangerous to have in an environment like this.

Juanita decided to talk to Adelita when she got back, to tell her that she wanted to separate herself from the group for a while so she could get a clear head. She needed that, occasionally and she hoped that Adelita would understand.

She stood up when the last bottles were filled and they began the walk back to the camp. All the way back Camila kept talking to her; cheerfully, thoughtlessly, either ignoring or not sensing Juanita's wish for her to shut the hell up. But Juanita kept her annoyance to herself, deep down knowing that it had more to do with her own feelings than with Camila's behavior.

They brought the bottles to the supply tent and without saying a word Juanita went looking for Adelita. She knew she would be at Headquarters and so she headed in that direction. Right before she reached the entrance she froze. She heard a voice that sounded familiar but out of place at the same time. Her throat suddenly felt dry.

_Don't be stupid. He can't be here._

She knew he had no reason to be there and that she was probably just imagining things since she had spent the afternoon dwelling on the past, but still she could barely breath. Carefully she peeked around the corner.

And there he stood. She recognized him immediately, even though it had been such a long time since she had last seen him. He looked rougher, taller. Gasping for air she turned around, her heart pounding in her chest, she had to get away. She slipped past their headquarters, desperately trying to resist the panic that was consuming her and forgetting all about speaking with Adelita. She had bigger concerns now.

Angel had found her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story! Please let me know what you think of it! It's a bit of rollercoaster of thoughts and feelings, I hope it isn't too complicated!


	3. Chapter 3

Juanita rushed to her tent and grabbed her belongings. Not all of it, just enough to make it through the next few days. She considered writing Adelita a letter to tell her she needed some time to work things out, but decided against it. There was no time. She didn't know whether she could still trust the woman.

Juanita had lied to her. She had told her that her family was dead, murdered by the cartel, and now that her brother was here, alive and well, he would destroy everything that had become a part of her new life. She blinked away the tears clouding her eyes. Not now. She needed to get to safety first. Adelita was a great woman who embraced the lost and lonely with loving arms, but she was allergic to lies and Juanita knew firsthand how she treated traitors.

Or the ones she considered to be traitors.

She slung her bag over her shoulder and left her tent. Darkness slowly took over the campsite, cloaking Juanita, aiding her escape. From the supply tent she took a bottle of water and couple of food packets, ignoring the guilt that nibbled at her heart.  _If I stayed, they would been given to me anyway_ , she reasoned with herself.

Without looking over her shoulder Juanita left the camp, the only place that had felt like a home to her for so many years, having no idea if this place could still be in her future.

* * *

Coco never felt safe in this remote place. This whole camp was filled with pain and fear and a crazy level of devotion and ruthlessness. He had never seen so many children, all of them younger than his own kids had to be – all with those empty looks and starved bodies; it sent shivers down his spine.

He felt a moral obligation to help these people, these children. The remnants of broken families which he was partially responsible for. His club supported the cartel. Sure, they hadn't much of a choice, but it still felt wrong and seeing firsthand the misery Galindo caused brought the painful truth closer.

They could no longer close their eyes and wallow in their ignorance.

Coco looked at the attractive woman who was sharing numbers with them. The amount of the people she was taking care of, the money she needed to feed the mouths of all those little ones. Even though Angel was doing the talking, not a single word went by unnoticed. Coco took everything in, intending to reconsider the situation once he was home. Whatever they were going to do to help this people, their plans had to be thought out - foolproof. If his brothers discovered their secret arrangement with Los Olvidados, Angel, Gilly and he would all hang.

They talked for over an hour, all while Coco lit up cigarette after cigarette. Now and then he would ask a question, but he was mostly listening, trying to see the bigger picture. This new cooperation – if it really came that far – had to benefit all of them.

Once the conversation came to a close Coco decided to go for a ride. He wanted to think about everything he had heard before he would discuss it with his brothers, so he could form his own opinion. He told Angel and Gilly that he would see them later that night, after he'd had a chance to get his thoughts together.

A few minutes later he rode out, across one of the outback roads that took him through the Yuha desert. The moon was the only light that guided him and the cooling air helped him gather his thoughts. A small fire to his right attracted his attention and he decided to take a look. With the camp still close by, why would somebody choose to camp right beside it? What if it was an enemy that was setting up to be close to Los Olvidados, or maybe he could discover something that disproved what the woman had just told him. He got off his bike, moving away from the road and crushed the dry shrubs beneath his heavy boots while heading towards the campfire.

* * *

Juanita looked up at the stars. She had draped a blanket around her shoulders, even though the warmth of the flames was enough to keep her warm. The crackling and popping of the wood as it burned comforted her. Images of her past invaded her mind; she could hear herself laughing as Ezekiel and Angel were holding marshmallows in the fire on a summer night, their parents quietly talking behind them on the porch. She sighed deeply, missing those times, now more than ever. Those times in which everything was normal, when they were all unaware of the secret their father was keeping from them, before those secrets were able to ultimately tear them all apart.

A crunching sound to her left pulled her out of her memories. She turned her head to the side, and her whole body tensed as she saw the silhouette of a man coming towards her. Immediately she grabbed her gun and turned to face him.

"One step closer and I blow off your head," she snarled.

"Ey girl, calm down," the intruder answered, his voice steady, not at all worried by the gun pointed at him.

"What do you want?"

"Just wonderin' why a girl like you is sittin' here all alone."

Juanita took a deep breath and fought off the sensation of ice flowing through her veins. There was a reason that they were always warned to travel in pairs though the desert, it wasn’t safe for a woman to be on her own out here. She knew this, but in her panic she had forgotten and now, with this man standing in front of her she was reminded as to who liked to lurk in the dark.  

"That's none of your fucking business. Get the hell outta here."

The man raised both his hands in a gesture of surrender, but he still came closer. Juanita clenched her jaws, internally screaming about his stubbornness. It was too dark to see his face, to assess the danger that was in front of her and she wasn't taking any chances.

She lowered the gun from his chest to his leg and fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still figuring out how to portray Coco, so let me know what you think of it!


	4. Chapter 4

Juanita had spent a lot of time on the shooting range growing up. Her friend had a crush on a guy who was working there and had brought her along. He had shown little interest in her friend but Juanita had caught his eye. It had led to some intimate moments in the storeroom, which had embarrassed her to death and she never dared to tell her friend what was happening, ultimately causing a huge fight and a rift in their friendship that they never fixed.

The thoughts about Nestor still made her cheeks flush. Behind her friend's back they had seen each other, until Juanita felt so bad about it she no longer snuck out of the house at night to go and see him. It was the most rebellious thing she had ever done – and while it was nothing compared to what her brothers had been doing she couldn’t handle the deceit. Not much later her mother had died, making her father grim and drunk, causing the chain of events that had forced her to leave town.

During the time she spent with Los Olvidados she had expanded her shooting skills, resulting in a firm hand and a good aim.

There was no way she was going to miss now, even though she'd never shot at a living being before.

A grunt escaped his lips as the bullet hit his thigh. A loud curse followed.

"What the fuck man!" the man snarled incredulously. "Have you lost your fucking mind?" He moved his weight to his other leg and pressed his hands to the wound, still cursing under his breath.

"I warned you. Now leave," she told him, not a hint of remorse in her tone. "The next one will be in your head."

The gun was still in her hands and she aimed a little higher.

"How the hell am I supposed to leave with a fucking bullet in my leg, you stupid whore," he hissed, his jaw clenched in pain.

"Be a man. Ignore the pain."

"Easy for you to say," he spat. Ignoring her threat, he went down onto one knee and tried to see the damage. "Damn it. This is bad."

Slowly Juanita's resolve seeped away. He wasn't pulling a gun, he wasn't paying attention at her at all, he was completely preoccupied with his injury. Suddenly the moon broke through the clouds and revealed the man's appearance.

Her eyes went wide when she recognized the cut he was wearing. "Holy shit."

The man looked up, his dark eyes peeking through the black hair hanging in front of his eyes. "Yeah? Finally got your brain back?" He snarled, spitting on the ground.

"I told you to go away," she muttered petulantly to the guy who was probably a friend of her brother. Had Angel shown him a picture of her? Would he recognize her?

"I'm stubborn. And besides, I never thought you would really shoot me."

"Then who's the crazy one here?"

He held her gaze for a second. "Think we both are."

With a sigh Juanita put away the gun and motioned him to come closer to the fire so she could see the damage she'd done. "Lemme see."

"Didn't have to shoot me to get me out of my pants, ya know?" He stumbled towards her and she grabbed his shoulder to help him maintain his balance.

He took off his belt and slowly lowered his pants. Right beneath his boxers his leg was bleeding, in the front and the back.

"The bullet passed through," she concluded. That was good – but he was still bleeding like hell. "Give me your shirt."

"This a striptease now?"

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide a smirk. She had to admit it: that man had balls. Most people would have been freaking out in a situation like this. She took the shirt from him, ripped off a strip and rolled up the leg of his boxers to tie it tightly above the wound.

"I can go back to camp to get some medical stuff."

"You're an assassin and a doctor now?"

"This place is better than school."

He snickered. "Yeah yeah. Well hurry up girl, I'm too young to die."

She stared into his brown eyes for a moment, still overwhelmed by his indifference. He gave her the feeling he was shot by girls daily.

"I'll be right back," she promised.

"You better be. I'll haunt your ass forever if you let me bleed to death in this god forsaken place." Groaning he sat down on the ground, his hands pressing on the provisional tourniquet.

Juanita took the flashlight out of her backpack and ran back towards the camp, hoping she could sneak in and out without being seen.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The pain was only increasing as time went by and Coco found himself feeling like an idiot again. Not only because he had been wrong about the girl with the gun who he'd found too cute to really shoot him, but also because he was still sitting there waiting for her return.

Why the hell would she come back? She was a crazy bitch, threatening him without blinking an eye and then it was like a switch had been flipped and she suddenly cared ‒ it had confused him at the time, but the pain had been too overwhelming to give it a second thought. But now she was gone and blood was still pouring out of his leg like some fucking broken dam, he realized he couldn't wait forever. She wasn't some angel that would come back to heal him.

If she'd really come to senses, she would know what is good for her and stay away.

Grunting he stood up and limped away from the campfire. After only a few steps the world was spinning around him and he crouched down again, spitting on the ground. "Fuck," he grumbled. He had to call Angel, tell him he needed a pick-up because he'd lost too much blood. He took his phone out of his pocket and just as the screen lit up he heard footsteps behind him.

"Getting impatient, huh?"

Coco looked over his shoulder, feeling a strange sense of relief at the sight of her. "Figured you would let me down."

"Nah. Told you I'd be back."

"Yeah well, I’ve seen some of your mood swings tonight. From wavin' with a gun to behavin' like some hot nurse."

"I'm full of surprises."

Coco smirked. Hell yeah, she was. He limped back to the campfire. Even though he could have done it by himself, he didn't miss the opportunity to swing an arm around her shoulders. For someone who was living like a fuckin’ hobo she smelled so fucking good.

She helped him onto the ground and used a bottle of water to wash his wound. He gritted his teeth as the liquid stung his gutted leg while looking up to her concentrated face.

"So what's a pretty girl like you doin' out here all alone?"

"I'm keeping away the wolves."

"You always fixing 'em up afterward?" He showed her a wolfish grin.

He watched her eyes moved across his face and he wondered if she liked what she saw. He knew he wasn't the most handsome man out there, but unless his blood loss was messing with his head, he thought he felt some tension between them.

"I'm sorry," she said, and for the first time there was no mocking tone in her voice. "I didn't know you were a Mayan. You guys aren’t the type going around raping girls in the middle of the desert."

"I hope not."

"What were you doin' at the camp?"

She had focused her eyes on the wound again. Coco moved his glance to her fingers and watched how they gently stitched the wound and dressed it. Talking to her did something to him, the pain faded like she was some drug that almost knocked him off his feet.

"Adelita is lookin' for a partnership," he said, a bit hesitating. He didn't know how much she was supposed to know but this girl was no idiot.

Her shoulders dropped a bit as if she had tensed awaiting his answer, he raised his eyebrows waiting for her to reciprocate.

"Sometimes, I need some time alone," she explained. "To think about things. This ain't an easy life."

Coco could imagine. He wondered what had happened to her, in what way the cartel had harmed her, but he knew better than asking about it.

She stood up. "I stopped the bleeding, but you should still go see a doctor. I can take you to the hospital."

He frowned. "Got a car?"

She smirked. "Got a bike?"

"I can ride myself."

"No you can't. It's a long ride and you've lost a lot of blood."

Suddenly Coco felt tired. Even though he didn't like anyone riding on his bike, he was wondering how her back against his chest would feel and before he knew it, he'd agreed. With a grunt she helped him to his feet and put an arm around him to support him.

"Does my killer nurse also have a name?"

"Florence."

"Nightingale? Sweet." He leaned a bit more into her when the rugged terrain almost made him stumble. "I'm Coco."

"That just sounds dumb."

With a grin he looked aside. Her dark hair swept across her narrow shoulders and her angled bangs hung in front of her right eye. Her baggy clothes hid her figure and he was already picturing her in a tiny dress. His concentration slipped away for a moment and he tripped over a rock and fell on the ground.

She'd stepped away before he could drag her along and his face was burning with shame.

If he'd ever wanted to see her in that tiny dress, he surely had to do better than this. He scrambled on his feet before she could help him and made the last meters to his bike on his own.

"Still wanna take me to the hospital?" he asked, suddenly feeling really embarrassed.

"Yeah, don't want you to slide underneath a truck."

"That would be a waste, huh?"

"Absolutely." Her hand stroked the metal of his bike. "She's a beauty."


	6. Chapter 6

The last time Juanita had been on a motorcycle, was a couple of years ago. Angel took her for a ride now and then and even though she lacked a license, he'd allowed her to ride small distances. She missed those times. Riding along the beach, through the forests. Just being with her brother, having him close and finding the most remote spots to talk about nothing. Ever since he was involved with the Mayans, trips like these had become scarce, but he'd always tried to find ways to spend time with her. Their relationship had always been good, better than her relationship with Ezekiel. Usually people of the same age could better get along, but she'd always liked the way Angel was pushing boundaries, something she'd never dared to do. Even though he was always taking risks, she felt safe with him and now she'd heard his voice after all those years she was intensely longing for his embrace. Suddenly the loneliness was washing over her. She squeezed her eyes and tried to push away the tears.

"Thought you knew how to ride."

Coco's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She'd been so wrapped up in the memories she'd forgotten where she was – and with who.

"I do," she said. "My mind was just drifting off."

Before he could say something, she started the engine, lifted her foot from the ground and took off. Coco wrapped an arm around her waist and scooted closer to her than he needed to. She could feel his breathing in her neck and briefly looked over her shoulder to see his wounded leg.

"This okay?" she asked.

"Never been better."

Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew he was smirking. Chuckling, she shook her head and focused on the road. The wind played with her hair and while they rode back to civilization, she felt more peaceful then she'd done in years. Riding had always given her a sense of freedom. Even though nobody kept her from going anywhere, she still felt a prisoner. Someone imprisoned by her own decisions.

More than an hour later Juanita parked the bike in front of the hospital. She waited until Coco had climbed off before she left the vehicle herself. She took off the helmet the man had given her and gave it back.

She laid an arm around his back to help him inside the building and felt relieved as he sat down on a chair. It had been years ago since she'd set a foot in Santo Padre and she was afraid someone would recognize her.

"I can't stay here," she told Coco. "I don't want anyone to see me here."

He looked up, his brown eyes shining with curiosity. "Then how do you get back?"

Juanita bit her lip. She hadn't thought that far ahead. She couldn't ask a cab to bring her to a rebel camp. "I'll find a way."

Coco groaned as he leaned to the left to take out something of his pocket. It was a key. "Go to my house. It's empty." He smirked as he saw her hesitation. "Might still need your nursing hands later."

She snorted. "Think we're even now."

"Not if you stay in my place."

Juanita looked over her shoulder as more people entered the waiting room. She had to decide now.

"Fine," she sighed, grabbing the key from his hands. "Where can I find that house of yours?"

He summed up the street name and number and she soled it to her memory.

Santo Padre wasn't a big city, she knew the street and it was within walking distance – at least when there was no bullet in your leg.

"You'll find that?"

She nodded. "I will."

She hesitated, not knowing how to say goodbye. In the end she just turned around without saying a word at all and walked away from him. 


	7. Chapter 7

Coco was a bit wobbly as he took the first steps with the crutches. He would have rather ignore the pain and left those stupid things here, but he was strongly advised by the nurses to use them if he wanted to heal properly and he didn't want to slow down the process; all this was shitty enough.

Reaching the end of the corridor, he saw Angel slumped down in one of the chairs in the waiting room. A few minutes before he went into surgery his friend had called him to ask what was going on – where he had gotten too. Coco hadn't shared many of the details; only that he had been shot in the leg and was at the hospital in Santo Padre.

Angel stood up as soon as he saw him, raising his eyebrows. "The fuck happened to you?"

Coco shrugged his shoulders. "Hot girl."

"Why are the girls you find hot always crazy?" Angel chuckled, slapping him on the shoulder.

Coco smirked. He had no idea.

"I saw a campfire near the camp and wanted to check it, make sure there was no danger to the rebels. I found a chick there, she was the one who shot me."

"You know better than sneaking up on girls in the dark," Angel chuckled. "She left you there bleeding?"

"Nah man, she brought me here and is chillin’ at my house now man."

He shrugged; he didn't know how to answer the surprised look in his friend's eyes. The smirk on his brother’s face was annoying as hell and so he turned and limped towards the exit. Angel could keep up with him effortlessly.

"I’ll bring her back to the camp tomorrow, I don’t think she wants to stay. She grew up around here and was afraid people would recognize her or somethin'." He didn't know if it was safe to drive, but he thought he could manage with help of a few painkillers.

“Sounds like a mysterious girl. You sure she’s real?” Angel chuckled once more. “Or are you just makin' up stories to cover up shooting yourself?"

With the crutch still in his hand, he swung an arm around Angel's shoulder. “You’ll see brother. You’ll see. She’s fucking hot. And crazy, but I love that.”

Angel wrapped an arm around his waist. “Yea, tell me something new.”

They stopped in front of Angel’s car and Coco helped himself into the backseat.

“If you gimme the keys, I’ll get EZ bring your bike over later.”

Coco handed him the keys and leaned back in the seat.

A few minutes later they pulled up to his house. All the lights were out. Was she already sleeping? He knocked on the door, but there was no answer.

“You really sure you haven’t tried to hook up with a ghost?” Angel smirked.

Coco couldn’t laugh about it though, rather he felt annoyed. What the hell was going on?

“Hey Nightingale,” he yelled, banging on the door and cursing the fact that he didn’t even know her real name. “Open up.”

Angel's chuckles were making him angry, making him want to punch him in his face. Instead of doing so, he stepped off the doormat. "Take a look underneath it, will ya?"

It was the only spot he could think of where she might have hidden the key if she really had left. Or had she taken it with her? Maybe she never had the intention of staying at all. She might as well have cleared him out - taken all his valuable stuff and left. Gritting his teeth, he suddenly felt dumb as hell. Who else was stupid enough to give a woman who they had just met, and then been shot by a key of their house?

“That’s a pretty dumb place to keep a spare one.” Angel rolled his eyes, bent over and picked up the door mat.

Coco let out a relieved breath as Angel found the key underneath. The fact that her thoughts had followed the same route as his, satisfied him. Angel opened the door and Coco clumsily pushed his way into his house.

All his belongings were still there. There was a glass on the counter top, but other than that no trace of the woman could be found. There was no note, nothing. Disappointment pulled down the corners of his mouth.

Angel plopped down on the couch, looking over his shoulder. "So she really is a ghost. Maybe someone knocked you on the head too eh?”

“Shut up,” he grunted, putting his crutches against the wall. Even though he wasn't supposed to drink alcohol yet, he ignored the advice and grabbed the nearest bottle, pouring himself a drink. He stared through the window, part of him expecting to catch a glimpse of her.

But she was gone. 


	8. Chapter 8

Over a week had passed since Coco had been shot. The girl had slipped to the corner of his mind, the club had been keeping him busy.  But now, when they were about to have a meeting with Adelita, the girl's face was the first image that crossed his mind. He was annoyed with himself because he wanted to see her again; the chemistry he had thought he felt so clearly, obviously hadn't been there. Otherwise, she wouldn't have left without saying anything.

As soon as they entered the rebel camp, his eyes began their search. If he had known her name, he could have at least asked someone about her. Then he would at least be able to know if she had returned safely. They entered the main tent, where Angel moved to give the bricks of coke to Adelita. Coco turned away, while he supported the cause it still didn't sit right that they had done this behind their President’s back. But on the other hand, it felt even worse if they were to just sit back and do nothing at all. He was only half listening to the conversation, but after a few minutes he realized that Angel wanted to go over the plans some more with Adelita, so he signalled to his brother that he was going to check out the camp.

Lighting a cigarette, he worked his way through the camp, looking around, taking in every face that crossed his path. There were young faces everywhere; the majority of them with black hair, tan skin and a determined glint in their eyes. More than once he thought that he had seen her, but by the time he reached the edge of the camp his search had come up empty. In the end he turned and began to head down the narrow corridor again, leading to back, deeper into the rebel camp. With a sigh he stopped and leaned against the wall of the canyon, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. 

Suddenly a pebble fell on his head. He looked up and recognized the person peaking out from one of the caves nestled between the stone. "Lookin' for me?"

His lips curled into a smirk. "Yea, you wish."

Gravel rolled down as she shimmied down from the ledge. A large gun hung over her shoulder; she'd been on watch. "How's your leg?"

Coco's glance traced her cute face with her large dark eyes, a suspicious frown forming as he took in her question. "Been without crutches since yesterday."

She nodded. "Good."

Coco leaned back, with his shoulders resting against the mountainside. "So, where’d  you go that night?"

She shrugged. "Wasn't in the mood to play nurse."

Coco lifted the corner of his mouth. "Could have played some other way."

"With that limp of yours?"

"I'm very creative."

She laughed. "Yea, I don’t doubt that”

"What's your name?"

"You don't like calling me Nightingale anymore?"

"Nah man."

As he lit up a new cigarette, she took it out of his fingers and took a drag. "Tough shit, cause I don't like Coco."

He watched how her lips wrapped around the cigarette and when she gave it back after a few drags, it tasted better than any cigarette he had ever had before. "Is Johnny Cruz better?"

"Cruz," she repeated, rolling the name across her tongue. "Sounds not bad, Cruz." He gave her a questioning look, waiting for her to reciprocate, but she shook her head. "You get to stick to Nightingale for now."

"C’mon, my buddies already think I made you up."

Suddenly her fingers stroked his cheek. "Then you can figure out how to tell them how real this feels," she whispered against his lips as her lips touched his lightly.

She wanted it to be a chaste kiss, just a tease. But as she went to pull back, Coco grabbed her wrist and turned her around, pressing her between himself and the mountainside. "Not so quick, Nightingale," he said with a husky voice, pressing his mouth against hers again. Her lips parted, his tongue slipped inside. His fingers grabbed her dark hair, as her arms made their way up and folded around his neck. It was a hot, passionate kiss that ended so abruptly that he stared at her feeling a bit dazed. 

She freed himself from his grasp and wiggled out from her place against the wall. "Goodbye, Cruz," she whispered, her breath ghosting across his ear. Then as if she was a figment of his imagination she turned around, swung herself up onto a solid branch and disappeared a few seconds later into the shadows.

Just after he had lost sight of her, he saw Gilly and Angel appear from around the corner. 

"Well?" Angel asked with a smirk. "Find your mysterious lady?"

"You just missed her, she left like a second ago," he answered, still feeling her lips on his. "Got the feeling she's scared of you man."

Angel chuckled. "Yeah sure, blame me, I’ll believe you when I see her." He slapped Coco's shoulder. “C’mon lets get outta here, we’ve wasted enough time tryin’ to track you down.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Juanita knew it was only a matter of time before she would come across Angel in the camp, especially if Adelita gave her one of the jobs that the MC was involved in. That was the reason she was sitting across from the woman now. She figured confronting the rebel leader with her lies was still easier than facing her brother.

"I haven't been honest about my family," she confessed. Her hands laid calmly in her lap. She wasn't nervous, she believed this was the best decision and would accept the consequences. "They're not dead. Only my mom is."

Adelita raised her eyebrows. She didn't say a word.

"I found out that my father had been working for the Galindo cartel in the past. I was shocked – he knew the destruction that man had caused and the fact that he was able to work for him made me despise him. I couldn't live in that house any longer, his secret was crushing me and I wished I had never found out about the truth. We got into a few arguments and when he got violent I left, I didn't want my brothers to know about the cartel. Our mom had just died, my youngest brother had been sent to prison... Their lives were difficult enough. That was eight years ago, I ran and never talked to my brothers again." She took a deep breath, her story had just poured out. It had been eight years since she had said anything; she held Adelita's glance as she prepared herself to drop the last bombshell. "Angel is my brother."

The woman's eyes widened. "The Mayan?"

She nodded. "I still want to serve the cause, but I don't wanna go anywhere near to him. I like the way things are now. I don't want him to know that I'm here, or the secret our father is hiding – especially not now that we're at war with the cartel ourselves. It would make things unnecessary complicated. My life is fine, I have no need for a family reunion," she stressed.

Adelita studied her face. "Am I making a mistake for trusting him and the MC?"

She shook her head. "No. Angel's heart is in the right place. He's loyal to his beliefs. As am I, Adelita. Angel's arrival complicates things, but I still want to bring Galindo to his knees. All I ask for, is that I am not given any tasks that have anything to do with my brother. Please Adelita. There will be a day when I tell him why I left, but not now, not now he's in this shit up to his eyeballs. More family drama is the last thing he needs."

Adelita nodded. "Fine. I appreciate your frankness. You have my permission to stay away from Angel and the other Mayans." She turned to the side and took a pile of pamphlets from the table. "Distribute these across the border tonight."

Juanita took the pile and nodded her head in gratefulness as she turned around and left the tent.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Camila asked as Juanita grabbed some things and put them in her bag.

"Santo Pedro. Got some pamphlets to spread."

"You want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "Nah, already asked some of the others."

Since Camila had caught her kiss with Coco a few days ago, there was a new obsessive look in her eyes that was giving Juanita the jitters. She was trying not to be alone with her too much, because of the trauma most of the rebels had gone through, there were many people suffering from some kind of mental illness and it had never bothered her before. But Camila's glances became intenser with the day; she wasn't sure what the girl would do and if it really came to a fight, she wasn't afraid that she would lose, but the tension was still nerve-racking. She hated the feeling of having to look over her shoulder all the time. Who knows what a jealous girl suffering from PTSD was capable of. There was no way to guess her behavior.

She forced a smile and left the camp, heading to one of the off-road vehicles that were parked off to the side of the compound. They would be taking two cars, so they were harder to follow just in case things went wrong. Apart from that, Juanita didn't plan to come back tonight at all. Her lips curled into a smirk. No, she had planned a whole different night...

* * *

As darkness blanketed the town, Juanita and the others spread their pamphlets. Although it was close to midnight when they were finished, she still stood out front of the apartment now, the same one that she had snuck out of a few days ago. Back then it had felt safer, but she doubted Angel would show up this late. She knocked at the door and waited, leaning against the door frame nonchalantly. There was a light on, so he should be home at least. Hopefully, without company.

Since the moment they had kissed, she was having an awfully hard time getting him out of her head. She didn't know what it was about him – he wasn't very handsome, but his attitude and those rough edges made him sexy as hell and she couldn't wait to see his face.

The door opened on the latch. Suspicious eyes peered outside, until he recognized her.

"Ey. You here?" he asked with a smirk.

"Missed ya Cruz."

He didn't open the door further. "Yea? What'd you missed girl?" There was a ornery look in his eyes, making him hard to read.

"Hmm... coulda been that arrogant voice of yours." She teased.

"Your phone broke now eh,  _idiota_?"

Juanita pushed her shoulder against the door so it swung open, ignoring the man staring her down. She stepped inside, nudging the wood behind her so it closed again. Coco was leaning against the wall, a confident smirk crossing his face that made her tingle. Although she wanted nothing more than to grab him by his collar and take what she wanted from him, she didn't. She moved farther into his apartment, coming to a stop when she was across from him and leaned back against the countertop, her ankles crossed.

With a hungry looked they stared at each other.

"Whatcha doin' here, Nightingale?"

"Testing your self-control."

"Thinkin' pretty high of yourself there  _nena_. Good luck. I got nothin' wrong with that."

"We'll see. You really think you can stay away longer than me?"

"Uh-uh. View's not bad. Besides you came to me."

 _Man, that grin._ She felt her teeth bite into her lip as she took in his cocky smirk. She wanted to press her lips against his so badly. "Wanna bet?"

"If you're so keen on losin' money... why not? Fifty?"

"Deal."

She leaned back, staring provokingly at him. He kept his focus on her, but he didn't let it wander across her body. Slowly she started to unbutton her blouse, hoping to draw a reaction. To her discontent, he didn't move a muscle, he just kept staring at her, the intense look never leaving his eyes. With a hand she raked through her hair, sweeping it across her shoulder and began to toy with it. The fingers of her other hand traced lines across her upper body, sliding her shirt off her shoulder as her fingers continued their path along the slope of her breast, letting the bra strap slip, following the same path as her shirt.

 _Man, that guy really has an iron will._ If she hadn't seen this hungry, excited look in his eyes, he would probably have been making her feel insecure.

He crossed his arms, leaning back relaxed. The wolfish smirk crossing his face made a fire spread through her core. She had never done anything like this before, but then again she had never felt such tension like this before. She felt powerful.

"Fuck the money." She pushed away from the wall, but before she could take a step, he was standing in front of her; pushing her back into the counter. His lips crashed down on hers, his tongue slipping between them and she let out a satisfied groan as his rough hands moved across her stomach, until they settled across her ribcage, teasing her as they slipped beneath the edges of her bra.

"I want you, Cruz," she murmured against his lips.

His only answer was given in the form of his lips travelling their way down her neck. With skilled fingers he unhooked her bra and took her breasts in his hands. She bit her lip as his rough fingers found their way to her nipples, and his teeth sank into the flesh of her shoulder.

Juanita pulled him closer, desperate to feel the man in front of her.

"You'll get me girl," he answered, the promise sliding seductively from his lips. "You're gonna get me so hard and deep that your gonna be feelin' me for a week."

 


	10. Chapter 10

NINTH CHAPTER

Coco wasn’t surprised when he found the other side of his bed empty the next morning. This time, there was no disappointment; he knew she would come back. Especially after the night they had. 

If only he knew what to call her. Even after the night they shared, her name was still a mystery. 

Nightingale. He smirked. Well, she had surely lived up to the name last night… the sounds she made. He could still hear the echos of her moaning.  _Deeper Cruz. Faster Cruz. Fuck yes, right there Cruz._ He was certain that if someone looked between his shoulder blades they would find scratches from where she had buried her nails in his flesh, every time he'd found just the right spot. His neck hadn’t fared much better; it was now marred by dark spots. Luckily his ink would be able to hide the hickeys unless someone was looking closely. 

He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up with a grunt, feeling the ache in his muscles. For a moment he wondered if perhaps she would be in the bathroom, or maybe she'd been hungry and was waiting in the kitchen, but deep down he felt that he was alone in the house. Not that he was complaining.

When she'd shown up at his door unexpectedly last night he had to admit that he found her unpredictability amusing, it definitely set her apart from the rest of the _putas_ in town. He was okay with the fact that she came and went whenever it pleased her – as long as she came back. 

And he was positive that she hadn't just used him for a one night stand. Hell no. He needed a repeat performance, she wasn’t getting away that easily. 

He showered quickly and decided to grab a burger on his way to the dress factory. It was going to be a long turbulent day.  He knew today was the day that the transport van was set to be ambushed by the Samoans and it was only going to be a matter of time before their ties to Adelita came to light. It was going to be a major blow to Galindo and he could think of better ways to spend his time than staying out of the warpath that the cartel was going to go on. There would be nothing that would link Angel, Gilly and him to the ambush or any of the ensuing chaos. But he didn't like to leave things like this to others – especially when he didn't know them. It left a nasty feeling in his stomach. 

* * *

Juanita had left the apartment around 5 AM. Cruz was clearly a deep sleeper as he didn’t even stir when she slipped from the bed; she got the feeling he wouldn't wake up even if there was a bomb dropped in the middle of town. She filed the tidbit of information away, it was good to know. He probably wouldn't try to stop her when she wanted to leave and she didn't think he was the type to ask for a reason, but she hated saying goodbye. This was way easier. 

Now she was seated in a car out front of an enormous villa that had a large yard, and was surrounded by a fence. Record the comings and goings of Galindo's house; that was the task Adelita had given to her. She wasn't the only observer around town; something big was about to happen. She didn't know any of the details, but Adelita wanted to know where the family members were – especially the wife and son.

Up to now she hadn't seen any movement, causing her thoughts to wander off to last night. Cruz hadn't been lying; she could still feel him. Things had gotten pretty rough, her skin was still irritated and there was an ache that she could feel anytime she shifted her position. Totally worth it. The last time she had been with a man felt like ages ago and that one hadn't even been able to leave her satisfied; he definitely hadn’t given her a multiple orgasms like Cruz had. The guy really knew how to mess with her head – and she wasn't too happy about it. It was impossible to deny the chemistry between them, but that was all she wanted from him. Sex. Developing any sort of feelings for him was out of the question. It just couldn’t happen. Not because of him – not really, because of his ties to Angel. She couldn't risk being with Cruz  _and_ keeping her identity secret, it was simple as that.

Xander nudged her side with his elbow, jarring her from her thoughts of the previous night. The boy rarely talked and he was certainly not the type to touch her without a reason, which meant something was going on. Looking out the window, she saw that the front door of Galindo's house had opened. A few people left the building, body guards from the looks of it. But as she began taking note of the men who had just left, her eyes were drawn to the woman who followed and her eyes widened in recognition. Emily, her brother's girlfriend had just left the home. 

What was going on – was she with Galindo now? Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the thought… was this the wife she was supposed to be looking out for?

Juanita’s mind was reeling. As Emily moved down the front walk, Juanita’s attention once more moved to the front door, her heart kicking up a notch as she took in the man who had just exited. It was her old crush. 

 "Holy shit," she stammered. Although his hair was longer now, hanging down in two stupid braids, and he also had a goatee now making him much less attractive. But she could never forget his stature and ink, she recognised him immediately. 

"What is it?" Xander asked next to her.

"I know them," she said with a raspy voice. "From – from before."

As soon as she spoke the words, she knew it was something she could use to the rebels' advantage. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

With crossed arms Juanita looked at the little baby that Adelita was holding in her arms. "We’re kidnapping babies now?" she said, shaking her head. "How does that make us any different from the cartel?"

"Well we won't be stripping off their skin and sending them back to their familias," the woman answered in a grim voice. She looked Juanita in the eye. Her glance told Juanita that she didn’t care for the criticism being directed at her, but she didn't care what the others thought either. 

"This is wrong," she insisted. She thought about Emily, knowing this was  _her_ child. They hadn't been the best of friends in the past, but they hadn't been unfriendly either. Being siblings close in age, Ezekiel’s path had crossed hers a lot; they had different types of friends, different interests but living in a smaller town and an even smaller home, didn’t leave for much privacy.

"In a fight with the cartel we sometimes have to play dirty, Juanita. When they bring machine guns to harass us, we can't keep throwing stones. This baby is good leverage. They will meet our demands."

"And after that, they will hunt us like never before. They will crush our innocence, and show the world what happens to baby kidnappers."

Adelita's jaws tensed. "There is no innocence left in this camp, Juanita. They took that from us a long time ago. We are all soldiers, all doing what needs to be done. They may seem like horrible things, but you need to look at the future we're fighting for."

Juanita had a feeling the cartel believed the same thing. They were probably also telling themselves that their future was justifying their horrible actions now.

"This is the child of my brother's ex girlfriend. Does Angel know about this?"

Adelita glanced briefly at her, then she shook her head. "They don't need to know everything. They have their plans, we have our own." She held out the baby in her arms to Juanita. "You seem very concerned… does this mean you want to look after his health personally? Will that ease your mind?"

By reflex, Juanita stepped back. "No, baby's and I..." She shook her head. "Not my thing."

Adelita kept her glance for a while. "Then what is your thing? I have a feeling you've been brooding over something, but maybe you lack the courage to share it with me? Haven't I proven myself to be a trustworthy leader?"

"That's not the point."

"Is it about the Mayan you're sleeping with?"

Juanita frowned her eyebrows. 

"I keep a close eye on all of you, Juanita. You are no exception."

She shrugged. "It's nothing. And it's no secret. Not from you, at least."

"Your brother?"

She answered with a sigh. Those brothers of hers seemed to be pushing in on practically everything going on in her life right now. She didn’t want to talk about them anymore, it was time to talk about something else. "I might know a way to get closer to the cartel, it would mean that I'd have to be seen in public, north of the border which will allow my family to find me and we will have to deal with the confrontations that are sure to follow."

"If there's anyone that can protect you from unwanted attention, it's the cartel," Adelita replied. "But this sounds interesting. Tell me more." She handed the baby to one of the rebel children and took Juanita to her tent, where they both sat down. 

"Does the name Nestor Oceteva ring a bell?" Juanita asked. 

"The Head of Security for Galindo," Adelita answered looking her in the eye. 

Her answer surprised Juanita. She'd thought that he was one of Emily's bodyguards, not that he was in a position of much more importance. "In my previous life, we... had a thing goin' on, it would have been a couple of years ago now. It was brief, my family didn't even know, but it was... intense." She leaned back, contemplating her next words. She still didn't know if she wanted to do this at all. It would be perilous and there was a good chance it wouldn't lead to anything anyway. But if she  _did_ manage to find a way back into his heart again...

Adelita was still silently waiting for her to finish and had not taken her eyes off her, so she continued.

"I could always try to flirt with him again, see if he might be interested... Who knows what will happen..."

The rebel leader snorted. "You want to become his whore to get intel?"

Juanita shrugged, untouched by her blunt words. "Could be useful to have someone close to him? Who knows what the sweet whispers of a woman will elicit."

For a while the woman just stared at her.  "Why would you want to do this?"

"You said it yourself; we're soldiers. Maybe this should be my mission."

"If you get caught, we won't be able to help you."

"They won't catch me." She held the woman's stare, it was just as fierce as hers. "I hate the cartel, but they have not traumatized me as badly as some. Not like most of the others in this camp. I can do this."

"I will think about it. And the Mayan, how does he fit into this plan?"

"He doesn't," she shrugged. "I already told you – it's nothing. We were just havin' some fun."

Adelita studied her face. For some reason sweat drops were inching down her neck. Did the woman think that she was lying? 

She wasn't – right?

For a moment Cruz's face flashed by – his mocking smirk, the sparkle in his eyes, his challenging voice...

"This is more important," she insisted. 

Her tone told her that it wasn't only Adelita who she was trying to convince.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

The plan didn't leave Juanita's mind. She believed that it could work – there were however, a few issues that she still needed to work through.

"Where should I live?" she mused out loud. A few hours had passed since she had shared her idea with Adelita, and while the women separated to go about their days they now found themselves discussing the idea again. "I won't go back to my father, and I can’t come back to the camp once all of this starts… the cartel is cautious. Even if I manage to catch his interest again, he has not gotten to where he is by being gullible. I am sure he will send someone to tail me for a while, which means that I also can’t be found sitting in a hotel room all day long, that will raise questions."

"We could involve the MC. Pretend you're with that Mayan, use his house. The cartel considers them as allies anyway."

Juanita started to laugh. "Right… and while I’m at it maybe I should ask him to get down on one knee and have him propose too!"

The rebel leader looked at her with a stern face.

Ah, she was serious.

"It will look less suspicious if you accidentally run into him; you can just catch up while you're pretending that you're in a relationship. It will undoubtedly stroke his ego if you choose him in the end."

Juanita snorted. This was the stupidest idea she had ever heard. "I'm not gonna force myself on Cruz for who knows how long."

"As if he would mind," Adelita answered coldly. "A woman keeping his house clean and his bed warm. He will be away most of the time anyway. We all have to make sacrifices Juanita. There are things out there that are much worse than tolerating your presence in his home for a couple of days."

Juanita thought about her words for a while. She had a point... rationally speaking. She knew she would feel trapped though, and Cruz probably wouldn't be happy about her invading his privacy – but it was worth a shot. At the moment she couldn't come up with a better alternative.

There was however one problem. "If I stay at his place, Angel will find out."

Sighing, the woman looked at her. "Maybe it's time to get over it, Juanita. Taking down the cartel is much more important than not wanting to see your brother. Nobody is asking you to return home – you don't even have to tell your brother anything about your father if you don't want to. You're not a kid anymore; he can't force you to say anything. But I will also remind you of where you are, many of these children do not have a brother or father to go back to anymore. Do not discard that which others would do anything to get back."

Juanita dropped her eyes. Eight years had passed. Maybe it was time to square her shoulders, to move on. It felt like her life had been on stand by ever since she had left. She was no longer that reclusive girl – she could deal with her brothers. There was no need to share her discovery with them and in the end they would get over the shock of seeing her again.

"Fine," she sighed eventually. "That's what I'm gonna do. I'll inform Cruz about my plan and if he agrees, I will tell him who I am."

Adelita lifted the corner of her mouth. "Let's hope there's something left of him after your brother finds out that his friend slept with his missing little sister."

Juanita shrugged her shoulder.  _Not my problem._ Cruz could survive a beating.

"I am seeing them tonight. In town. If you come with me and stay in the shadows, I'll send Coco to you," Adelita suggested.

She nodded slowly, even though it was hard to imagine how that conversation would go. He'd probably claim that she’d drank a little too much and was actin’ crazy. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea; it would work as some kind of excuse if she couldn't convince him.

"Or do you want to talk to Angel first?"

"No," Juanita said quickly.

If Cruz would't do it, then there was no reason to confront her brother.

"And you're sure there's nothing serious about this relationship?" Adelita asked after a while. "You're going to be sleeping with the enemy... You are sure he won't mind?"

She shrugged. "We fucked one time. I think he likes it causal, keeps him from getting attached to someone. No fuss, and shit like that. He won't make a big deal of it."

Adelita watched her for a while. "We'll see... He won't be the first Mayan who takes one nights stands a little too seriously."

Juanita stared her in the eye, her eyebrows in a questioning frown. Then it dawned on her. "You slept with my brother?"

A mysterious smile crossed her lips, then the rebel leader turned around and walked away.

Juanita watched her leave while a grin appeared on her face. "Oh Angel..." she sighed, shaking her head. "Still wanting the girls you can't have..."


	13. Chapter 13

With his hands in his pockets Coco strolled in the same direction as Adelita and Angel did. The boy-scout was walking next to him, but they weren't talking. There was a nagging feeling in his stomach and he didn't know how to get rid off it, writing off the feeling to the fact that they were meeting in town, which was riskier than their usual meet up locations. Adelita was updating them on the progress the rebels had made this week; the success they had in kidnapping Galindo's kid. It made him furious that they had made such a decision without discussing it with them first, discarding their opinions as if they were not real allies. 

"Hey Coco."

A voice dragged him out of his thoughts, and to his surprise he found Adelita in front of him. Usually she saved her attention for Angel. Questioning, he raised his eyebrows. 

"There's someone who wants to talk to you." Her eyes wandered to EZ. "Alone."

His thoughts shot to Nightingale immediately. It had been a few days since they'd slept together and he had caught himself thinking about her, wondering if it really had been only a one night thing a few times now.

"Where?"

Adelita pointed towards the shadows of a nearby alley. With his eyes Coco motioned the boy-scout to keep moving, then he walked nonchalantly to the place Adelita had mentioned. 

"Smells like piss here _chica_ ," he noted when he had reached the darkness of the passage. There she was, leaning against the wall. "This your romantic side?"

She lifted the corner of her mouth – it was enough for him to want to kiss her. Piss or not, he pushed her against the wall and kissed her hungrily. His hand slid underneath her shirt and stroked her side, making her tug his lip with her teeth in a silent encouragement for more, his hand slipping underneath her bra, the weight of her breast settling against his palm. 

"Never took you for a street whore," he grunted against her lips, longingly rubbing his waist against hers. By now his fingers had found their way to her nipple, tugging slightly as if proving his point.

"Only for you," she moaned in his ear after biting his neck in retaliation. 

When his hands went for the button of her pants, she grabbed his wrists. "I'm joking Cruz. No one is gonna be doin’ me in the middle of the street."

With a crooked smile he shrugged his shoulders in defeat. He had no shame when it came to sex. "So you being desperate for a good turn ain't the reason for ya bein’ here?"

"Nah. Not sure if last time was worth repeating."

"Bullshit  _chica._ I felt you writhing underneath. That was as good for you as it was for me. We got sparks baby, we could even make a worm jealous."

She chuckled. "A worm. Man, you’re a life Casanova, eh."

He smirked apologetically and winked. "You get all the special treatment."

She started to laugh, but then her face grew serious. "I need a favor."

Coco raised his eyebrow. He didn't like her tone, he also wasn't too eager to commit anything. "I'm not a big fan of favors."

"Hear me out. I need to get closer to the cartel, but while trying I need a place to live. Can't be in the rebel camp."

"And you prefer my basement?" he mocked. 

She leaned back against the wall, shoving her hands into her pockets. "If I have to, but I’d prefer your bed. Or if you don’t want too, I’m sure one of your brothers doesn't mind some company."

He wrinkled his nose. Hell no. He didn't plan on sharing her. "For how long? What's your plan anyway?"

"I had somethin' goin' on with Nestor back in the day. Wanna try and start it up again."

"You want to fuck the cartel?" he blurted out.

"Well, not all of 'em. I do have a bit of self respect."

"A bit," he repeated scoffing. 

"That guy has a body that ain't the worst one I've seen," she shrugged. 

He snorted. He didn't like the idea of her sleeping with that prick, but he didn't want to admit it; not to himself and certainly not to her. "So how long do you need my place?"

"Until I can move in with him. My angry ex forcing me to leave the house might be helpful."

He swallowed a sigh. What the hell was he supposed to do with this? He wasn't looking for some  _puta_ to come and live in his house, not even a hot one like her. But somehow, she had effortlessly wrapped him around her finger, she was even making him consider this idea seriously, so yeah – maybe she would be able to make this plan work. 

"Fine," he answered with a grunt. "But the moment I start gettin' sick of ya, you're gone."

Her eyes lit up, as if his approval surprised her. 

He grabbed her chin and looked her in the eye. "On one condition. You're finally gonna tell me ya fuckin' name."

For a moment a strange emotion crossed her face, but before he could analyze it, it was gone.

"Juanita," she answered quietly, careful as if that name could detonate a bomb. "Juanita Reyes."


	14. Chapter 14

For a few moments Cruz just stared dumbfounded at her. Then his eyes narrowed and he lifted his chin, his jaw tensed. "You're fucking kiddin' me right?!"

"I'm not."

Breathing heavily, he shook his head. A torrent of curses rolled off his lips as he grabbed her chin. "You tryin' to get me fuckin' killed? You got any idea what you brother is gonna do to me when he finds out I've been fuckin' his dead little sister?!"

Juanita swung her head to the side. "Felt pretty alive when you were fucking me," she huffed.

Grunting, he raked a hand through his hair. "Fuck man. What kind of stupid  _puta_ are ya?!"

"Relax. He doesn't need to know."

"What? That you're fucking alive?!"

"That we fucked dumbass."

"He ain't stupid. He's gonna know." Shaking his head, he stepped away from her, Spanish curses slipping from his lips as he lit a cigarette. He worked his way through the cigarette in silence, then as if making a decision he suddenly grabbed her wrist and started dragging her out of the alley.

"Fuck off," she hissed, trying to tear herself away. His grasp however was firm and right now he didn't care if he was hurting her. She kept tugging at her hand, trying to free herself while also trying to head in another direction. "This ain't any of his business."

"Like hell it is! And you made it my business the moment you refused to tell me your name! What the hell were you thinkin'?!"

Juanita shrugged her shoulders. "That there was this sexy  _vato_ who wanted to play. We were just foolin' around... family has no place in my bed."

"And you really thought that I would still agree with you and your dumb idea to play around with the cartel after tellin' me who your blood is?" he snapped while he kept dragging her deeper into town. His free hand went into his pocket and took out his phone. "Angel is gonna cut my balls off for sleepin' with you, but if I push you right into the arms of the cartel he's gonna fuckin' slaughter me."

"It's not his call. It's my life, he has no say in it."

"Yea well he's gonna disagree," he grunted, bending his head to look at the screen of his phone. The moment he pressed the device against his ear, she started to tug at his arm again, trying to break free. "Knock it off!" he said in a dangerously low voice, looking at her with a heated look in his eyes. "Whatever game you were playin', it's over now."

Juanita gritted her teeth, annoyed that he was treating her like some teenage girl who got caught sneaking out of the house. It clearly had been a mistake, sharing her secret. On a whim she lifted her hand and sank her teeth into his wrist. Instead of letting go of her though his grip tightened, while his other hand found its way into her hair giving it a sharp tug, forcing her to look up at him.

"You done now?" he snapped. "Jeez, you're fucking  _loco_!"

"You're the one freaking out man. Stop dragging me around like I'm some little bitch. You really think I'd go live with you and not tell my brothers? I know there's no way around them, but taking down that cartel is more important than my family shit."

Cruz' grasp around her wrist weakened a bit and she yanked her arm away, glaring at him. Angel wasn't picking up his phone anyways. The man looked briefly at her, clearly not knowing what to do now.

Suddenly screams filled the air, panic buzzing around them as people began to rush past. Instead of turning around and following the crowd, Cruz grabbed her hand and dragged her through the panicking mass.

In the middle of a plaza a group of people had gathered, yelling and crying, others holding their phones above their heads to record something. Cruz pushed himself through the crowd with ease until they could see what all the commotion was about.

Juanita stopped breathing, staring in disbelief at the three burnt bodies on the ground. Her legs started to shake, the smell coming from it made her stomach turn and her head swim.

Next to her, Cruz cursed. His arm glided protectively around her waist. She tried to be strong, but she couldn't take her eyes away from the mutilated bodies, knowing Los Olvidados were responsible for their deaths.

"Hey, c'mon. Let's get you outta here." He squeezed her side, trying to distract her from the gruesome scene.

Juanita tore her glance away from the bodies and looked up. She froze. On the other side of the circle of spectators stood Angel. His eyes locked onto her form, staring at her as if he was seeing a ghost.


	15. Chapter 15

Angel assumed that the bodies must have been burnt with some sort of chemical, the fumes had gone straight to his head. It was the only logical explanation, because he knew he couldn’t trust his eyes the moment they saw his little sister in the crowd.

It wasn’t the first time he thought he’d seen her in town – he had caught glimpses of her many times over the past handful of years. This time however something was different – she no longer looked like the sixteen year old girl that filled his memories. This face was rounder, stripped of every trace of innocence. Still he was certain it was her – whether this version was real or a figment of his imagination he was still trying to figure out.

For once he thought that she might actually be real – but the hope diminished as he saw one of his brothers standing next to her, an arm wrapped around her waist. Coco didn’t know her, they had never met. Seeing them together didn’t make any sense.

Suddenly the woman looked up from the bodies. Their eyes locked. He saw her eyes widen. _Holy Fuck._ It was her. For a few breathless seconds they just stared at each other, then she turned around and began working herself through the crowd as quickly as possible. Coco’s eyes found his; the guilt was clear, making Angel’s anger rise.

_Motherfucker._

Angel’s head might have felt messed up, but he knew that for once, it was really Juanita who he had seen. Pushing people away, he tried to make his way to the other side of the crowd.

“Hey, we’re you goin’?”

A hand clenched around his upper arm, and a moment later he was staring at his bewildered younger brother’s face.

“I saw her,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. Maybe it wasn’t wise to share with EZ before he was hundred percent sure it was her, but deep down he knew he wasn’t going to be wrong this time. No matter how crazy it sounded, it was her.

“Who? What do you mean?”

“Juanita. She was with Coco.”

His brother stared dumbfounded on him. “You sure? I mean… we just saw some pretty messed up shit… you sure those bodies over there aren’t  messin’ with your head?”

“I’ve seen bodies before,” he huffed. “Nah man. I’m damn sure I saw her. Trust me. You go that way, I’ll go this,” he said, gesturing around.

“Yeah… okay,” EZ muttered, showing clear doubts.

Angel pushed him in the right direction, hoping that his brother’s photographic memory would be of use. One glimpse would should be enough to recognize her. Walking away from his brother he started his own search, but the process was complicated not only by the darkness but by the panicking crowd that was still rushing through the town.

After searching the area near the plaza two times his eye caught Coco, who also seemed to be looking around, a grim expression on his face. Angel rushed towards him, grabbing his arm. “The hell was that?!”

“I didn’t know man, I swear! She only told me she was your sister just before shit went down with those bodies. I tried to call you man. Check it.”

Angel held his glance, he knew Coco would never lie to him. “What did she want from you?”

Coco gritted his teeth, anger radiating from his face. “She was that chick man. The girl from the rebel camp, the girl that fuckin’ shot me. I feel so fuckin’ stupid man, I should have known somethin’ was up when she kept our meets so brief.” Shaking his head, he raked a hand through his hair. “But I didn’t know man, I swear.’

Angel squeezed his eyes. “Did you fuck her?” he hissed. “Did you fuck my little sister?”

When his glance met Coco’s he was met with shame. “Just once.”

While he appreciated his brother’s honesty, it didn’t eliminate the anger he was feeling. His best friend had fucked his sister. His sister that was missing – the sister he thought was dead. The fact that he hadn’t known, didn’t change that.

Grabbing the collar of Coco’s cut, he lashed out, his fist hitting the man’s jaw. Coco didn’t try to fight back, he took the punch without blinking an eye.

“We can sort this later man. She tore herself away from me and fuckin’ took off, I lost sight of her. Doubt she’s comin’ back man, she’s a runner when things get heated.”

Angel lowered his arm, hating the fact that his friend seemed to know her better than he did. He didn’t have the slightest clue as to why she would want to run from him – but it was clear she did.

And she had been for years.


	16. Chapter 16

Juanita pressed her back against the door of the shoe repair that she had dipped into. Peaking out the door she recognized Cruz and Angel between the people in the plaza, they were standing in the middle, looking around. She knew she was a coward for not staying to look her brother in the eye, but seeing him so suddenly had caused her to panic. She just couldn't face him right now. She hated the thought that they would inevitably end up in a fight. She wasn't dumb – she knew how badly she had hurt him. Hiding in the shadows had been much easier than facing the pain she had caused him. 

When the two men turned and headed in the opposite direction, Juanita snuck away from her hiding place. Immediately she ran into someone else. The man refused to step aside and when Juanita went to walk past him, she felt a hand glide across her wrist.

"Juanita?"

She froze as she heard the familiar voice; heart pounding in her chest, she looked up. 

It had been eight years since she had seen him, but even after all those years his face hadn't changed much. He still seemed to have a bit of a babyface. 

"I’m sorry, you're mistakin' me for someone else." She tore herself away. Her blunt, dismissive behavior must have shocked him, as his grasp loosened and she was able to free her wrist. She rushed away from him, not daring to run since she was afraid to attract attention. But where could she go? She knew that Cruz would tell Angel that she had joined the rebels, so she couldn’t go there now and obviously she couldn't go to his place either.

Frustrated she pressed her lips together. She never should have told him. It would have been wiser to come up with another name. Then she could have found a way to get out of meeting his friends during those first few weeks, and eventually he would have dropped it... right? 

The sound of running footsteps made her look over shoulder. Of course Ezekiel wouldn’t let her leave just like that. 

"C'mon Juanita, I know it's you!"

With a sigh she turned towards him, crossing her arms. Fine, if he wanted to get down to it, she could play dirty too. "Why are you out of jail? Made some dirty deal huh? Always the keener Zeke, who you chatting to now?" She looked at the prospect cut that he was wearing. She hadn't known that he was out, let alone that he had been prospecting. 

For a moment his eyes widened, his face seemed to pale. "I'm on parole due to good behavior."

Juanita held his glance. He was lying. It had been a wild guess, but being on the run had allowed for suspicion to nestle into her heart. "Right. If that’s how you want this to go… if we are just going to tell lies to each other then there's no point in us having a conversation at all, huh?" 

Sighing he rubbed his head, looking past her. He was buying time, Juanita realized. He would rather leave her for Angel, who would simply drag her home, no matter how hard of a fight she would put up.

"How ‘bout this, if you don't say anything to Angel, I won't say anything to him either and I will let you go."

Now that was interesting, and it was tempting. Just walking away. 

But if Ezekiel planned on keeping this meeting from Angel, he must be in some deep shit and at the end of the day he was still her brother. 

"Meet me at that bar over there in an hour." She pointed to the other side of the street. "Alone. Then we talk."

She gave him no room to answer, as she rushed back into the safety of the shadows.

* * *

It had been an impulsive action. What the hell could she say to her brother? She really didn't want to share her own story – she didn't plan to tell him much anyway – but there was a nasty feeling in her stomach, one that made her worry, especially if he made a deal with Law Enforcement. When she put that idea with the fact that he was a prospect now, something he had never shown interest in before, could only mean one thing – he was gonna rat and that would crush Angel. Father already despised him, she knew she had broken his heart by leaving and now if Ezekiel was going to betray him as well... She was afraid for what would happen to him. She had already seen how people had changed when they lost all that they loved, and unfortunately that same trait was in Angels blood.

From the darkened corner Juanita watched the entrance of the bar, nursing the drink she had ordered. Whether he would really come alone, was hard to say. If they met each other here behind Angel's back, they would both be stabbing the dagger into their brother's heart when he found out. But judging by Zeke’s face, the secret was apparently weighing heavy on him... Juanita had a feeling that it outweighed the loyalty to his brother. 

Light poured into the bar as the door opened. 

Ezekiel entered the bar, eyes looking for her. Juanita waited a moment to see if anyone else was following him, then she raised her hand to attract his attention. 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

What did one say to someone they hadn't spoken to in eight years? Juanita had no idea where to begin. The fact that he was staring at her as if she was a ghost, wasn't making her feel very comfortable either. 

As if Ezekiel sensed her uneasiness, he squeezed his eyes for a moment; then he leaned forward. "Where have you been all this time, Nita?"

"Around. I’ve gotten close with the rebels."

"But – why?"

She sighed. She knew that their mother's death had hit him hard, back in the day. How would he be able to handle the knowledge that their father, the only remaining pillar in his life, had hit her? Not with an open hand either, but with his fist. He would never be able to look at their father the same way – especially not if he knew all of the other horrible things he had done. She knew that he wouldn’t be able to cope with that loss. "I'm not ready to talk about it. Let’s just leave it at some things happened while you were locked up... things I couldn’t handle and because of them I needed to get away for a while. In the end it was easier not to come back at all."

Ezekiel massaged his temples. "I get why you didn't feel the need to talk to me, but what about Angel? You always were able to go to him when something was bothering you. You two were like two peas in a pod."

The jealousy in his voice didn't escape her attention. She had never realized that he had felt like he was the outcast of the family. "Things changed after mom's death. After you were sent to jail. Things weren't the same between Angel and me – we were all buried with our own grief." She took a deep breath and decided it was time to shift the focus back to him. "Enough about me. What kind of deal did you make with Law Enforcement?"

"I would never..."

"Really? You really gonna try and lie to me? Well, then were done talkin'." She shoved back her chair. 

"As if you  _really_ told me anything," Ezekiel huffed, looking her right in the eye. 

Okay, he had a point. "I'm not the one who’s makin’ deals with the devil."

He squeezed his eyes. "I’m not."

"C'mon Zeke, you never liked the Mayans. You despised that cut your brother wore for as long as he’s had it – and now you're wearin' one too?  _Why_? You enjoy it so much in jail that you wanna go back? You’ve always been smart so I know you knew about all the illegal shit they d."

"It's not like I have lots of other possibilities," he answered grumpy. "A criminal record like mine doesn't exactly help you to get a job."

"So is that it? A criminal record that will be erased when you tell 'em what they wanna hear?" She chewed on her lip, trying to connect the dots. It was no secret that the Mayans frequently broke the law, but why would they parole someone for information like that? There had to more... "Ah." The pieces of the puzzle suddenly fit together. She lowered her volume. "They want something bigger don’t they. They wanna know about the cartel."

The way his eyes widened, told her enough. Still his jaw tensed. "I have no idea what you're talking about. You shouldn't talk about that kinda shit, you wanna get me killed?" He hissed the last words. 

"Think you're already heading down that road yourself," she snorted. "You have to tell Ang."

" _I_  have to tell Angel something?" he snapped. "Speak for yourself! I have my shit in order, you are the one who left her family without a word. Without a reason. We thought that you were dead niña. We mourned for you. Whatever happened that you thought you had to leave – I will never understand. Not after everything that happened with mom. She was already taken from us, without a goodbye and you think you can just disappear?! You broke us."

Tears gathered in his eyes and she grit her teeth. She didn't want to see his tears. The last thing she needed, was her brother laying down even more guilt. 

"We're done talking." 

She stood up and headed for the door. 

Ezekiel didn't even try to stop her. 

As soon as she shut the door behind her, she understood why. 

"Fucking rat," she grumbled as she saw the three bikes in front of the bar. The two men she had no urge to deal with were leaning against them. Cruz – and Angel. 

And Angel's face told her he wouldn't be letting her go anywhere, not for the next few hours. Days. Or maybe even weeks. Her eyes shot from left to right, trying to come up with a plan, evaluating her terrain. She doubted she could get past them, and even if she did, she wouldn’t put it past Cruz to shoot her down. Not to kill her, but just to stop her. 

Instead of making an effort to flee, she didn't move at all and focused her gaze on her brother. Somehow she hoped to scare him away – but of course he was still able to resist her deadly glare. As if coming to a decision he moved, with large steps he moved towards her.


	18. Chapter 18

Angel had wrapped his arms so tightly around her that she could barely breathe – he felt more like a human prison instead of a brother who had been missing his sister a lot. A little uncomfortable with the confinement she briefly closed her arms around him in hopes that would make him loosen his hold. As she encircled him the only thought that crossed her mind, was that Zeke hadn't made any move to touch her. That felt better.

After a while Angel pulled back. His eyes wandered across her face; the hurt and incomprehension was all she could read on his face. Apparently he felt her betrayal so deeply that he wouldn't allow himself to feel a spark of happiness in this moment.

"You got anythin' to say?" His eyebrows pulling together, transforming his face into a dark frown.

She shrugged a shoulder. "Not really."

Suddenly he grabbed her chin, staring her intensely in the eye. "What the hell happened to you? I don't even recognize the person I see anymore. Do you remember me at all?"

His grip on her chin made her feel uncomfortable, his dark eyes reminding her of her father. Out of reflex, she pushed him away, her knee catching him between his legs. As he doubled over, she took advantage of his loosened grip and ran. To her right was Cruz, so she went to the left, dodging her younger brother with a swift feint.

Juanita cursed the fact that the streets were so empty, that meant the men could easily see where she was going. Panting, she dove into a small alley, jumped over a fence and kept running.

She didn't want her life to change. She liked the way things were.

In the distance she heard the rumbling of bikes. She climbed over another wall, then she reached another alley. Right when she turned to leave the small passage, she smacked into someone.

"You really think ya know this town better than me, chica?" Cruz huffed.

Juanita didn't answer. Instead, she looked around to see if her brothers were around too. They must have split up.

"I'm not usually violent man, but if you try to run again I'm not gonna hesitate in takin' ya down."

She gritted her teeth. Nothing gave her the impression that he was lying. She needed more time; she needed to try something different so she changed tacts. "Let me tell you a story. Then it'll be up to you to decide what you wanna do. I left home to protect 'em."

Cruz looked skeptically at her. "Lets hear it then."

Hmm, he capitulated a little  _too_ easy. Juanita had no doubts that he was still planning to lock her up until Angel was around, but it was a risk she needed to take. After all, there weren't many other options. Maybe she would find a way out of this mess if he took her home.

With a jerk of his head, he motioned over his shoulder ordering her to sit on his bike. A nagging feeling arose in her stomach when she climbed on behind him, laying her hands on his hips.

* * *

As the ride passed Juanita did not a have a single excuse come up to mind. She soon found herself sitting in a chair with Cruz across from her, she decided that it was time to tell him the truth. The moment he caught her in a lie, he would no longer have any sympathy for her anyway.

"On the day my mother died... I was there, I saw the killer," she started. "Or at least I caught a glimpse of him. He was younger than me. Around fourteen. It didn't look like a robbery, I think it was about revenge." She looked up to Cruz. With a nod he encouraged her to continue. "Zeke kept talking about an adult male, but I'm sure he was still a boy. I never told him about the kid, I didn't want him to know that he killed a cop chasing the wrong guy. I'm not sure if that guy had anything to do with it, but I am positive that he wasn't the shooter." She was silent for a moment. She had never talked about what happened that day and it wasn't easy to decide how much she wanted to share, what parts she wanted to keep to herself. "Anyway, I guess long story short... I went to my dad to tell him what I had seen and in the end I found out that he had been working for the cartel. It wasn't rocket science to conclude that there had been some messed up shit he had to do. He killed innocent people. Men. Women." She glanced at his blank face. His dark brown eyes however gave a little insight in the countless things that were crossing his mind. At least she could see that there was no disbelief in them. "My mom's death had been some sort of retaliation. I have a feeling that my dad killed that kid's mother, making him look to a way to cause the same pain on the killer's family – an innocent life for an innocent life. I confronted my father with my theory. He answered by beating the shit outta me, saying that he wasn't responsible for my mom's death and that I was crazy." Her jaw tensed. "But I knew he was lying."

Cruz leaned back a little. "Then why all the mystery? Why run? Why didn't you go tellin' this to your  _hermanos?_ "

She stared at him in disbelief. "Because it would destroy them. It destroyed me, Cruz, knowing the horrible things he had done. He should have died that night, instead of my mother. Knowing the truth fuckin' hurt," she stressed. "I don't want 'em to feel the same. It ain't gonna change what happened anyway. What's done is done."

"They should get their sister back," Cruz answered. "Knowing what you father did, you really believe he deserves a family while you don't? Don't you think if they knew they' rather lose him instead of you?"

Juanita bent her head. She wasn't sure she wanted to find out the answer to that question.

"I don't want it," she muttered eventually. "I don't want that family back."

"I think you're lying,  _chiqui_. I think you want your family back, but that you're too afraid they ain't gonna forgive you. Because to them it ain't your father who tore your family apart, it's you."

"Maybe," she mumbled, hating the fact that he could read her so easily.

"You gotta face the facts, chica. Your  _familia_ is fucked up anyway. But honestly? I think you're punishin' the wrong ones with this. Just like the kid that killed your mom…Just like your dad did."

Wildly, she looked up. "You're a fucking asshole for comparin' me to 'em."

"Yeah," he answered calmly. "But that ain't makin' it any less true."


End file.
